from: AmyStrange & the Criminal PART 4: the WEDDING by Dave Ayotte CHAPTER 48 Saturday, November 8th 7:36 pm (dictated 8:59 am, Mar 24) Ok, here goes nothing. Right after the surprise in Seattle, and after Mouse parked the Mobile, I cornered Randy and asked him the most obvious question. “Are we like FBI now or what?” “Well, kind of...” “What do you mean kind of? We are, or we aren’t. Which is it?” “It’s kind of complicated...” “Do we also get to meet the President?” I asked. “I’m not sure exactly...” “Jesus, Randy, you’re a whole lot of fucking help,” I laughed. Zack heard me and came over to clarify things. “To put it simply, Crim, you’re consultants and not really part of the FBI, but you do work for the govern- ment. You get all the same benefits, and you do get Cred Packs, but we’re the ones that are going to pay you. Now, does that make sense?” “Who’s our boss?” I asked, forgetting about our vote earlier. “I am,” Randy answered, finally getting his voice back, “and from now on, our number one rule will be that no one else gets to know that Amy can talk. Too many people know already, and that’s just too dangerous for her.” “You’re not gonna have us all whacked are you?” Both Randy and Zack laughed, but then Randy got a thoughtful look. “It would solve a lot of problems.” “Come on, you’re kidding, right?” “Of course I’m kidding. What kind of psycho cop do you think I am anyway?” “You’re inside a fucking Mobile that can turn invisible, and also hooking up with a freakin’ talking Cat. How much more psycho can you get?” I had to add. “I heard that,” the Cat said. She was sitting on Darryl’s shoulder, trying to balance herself, while also giving me the business. I could’ve just reached over and easily pushed her off his shoulder, but before I could even finish thinking about it, Darryl turned to see what all the ruckus was about, and by then, I was too busy staring at Beth. She was in the kitchen with Pee Wee, Mouse, and Jack, talking with Rico on a live feed, and he was telling them how the business was doing. Beth saw me staring at her and came over to kiss me. “This is so exciting, but you know I’ll have to go back in January for school.” “If I have to tie you up and drive you back there myself, yeah, you’re going back. Getting your degree is way more important, and I don’t know how, but I’ll manage somehow.” “You’re coming back in March, for the Wedding, right?” she asked with a worried look that almost broke my heart. “How could you even ask that?” I answered back, because there was no way in hell I was gonna miss out on marrying my dream girl, and she smiled back. “Good, because I’ve already called Alicia, and boy was she mad.” “Why? What’d you say?” “She was faking it, babe, but I could tell she wasn’t happy about it.” “Happy about what? Come on, tell me,” I said in a whiny, baby voice. “Well, I told her that... of course, you’re quitting right?” “We’ve got more than four million in the bank. We’re almost working with the FBI and a talking Cat to boot. I think not quitting would be stupid, but what exactly did you tell her?” “Just that you’re quitting, but how come you didn’t tell her we were getting married?” “Well, because lately, you’ve been the one talking to her more than me,” I answered lamely. She rolled her eyes, “Anyway, after I invited her, she stopped pretending to be mad,” and almost like an afterthought, added, “I also talked to Denise, and Desi wants to be one of your Best Men. She promised to dress up like Ricky Ricardo and everything.” “Best Men?” I had to ask. “Oh yeah, didn’t I tell you? I’m gonna have four best girls, maid of honors, bridesmaids or whatever, Terry, Denise, GiGi and Mouse. Rhonda and Stephanie want to be flower girls, and Barry’s gonna give me away,” she said, and then added quickly, “You can have four also. Pee Wee, Darryl, Randy, and Desi. It’s perfect.” I wanted to argue with her, but I actually liked the idea. Before I could say anything more than, “I like it,” the Cat jumped from Darryl’s shoulder to mine. “You guys better invite me,” she said and walked from one side to the other before staring me in the face, and then smiling. Up close, it looked even creepier, almost downright scary as hell. “Stop it. It’s worse when you’re up close. Of course, you’re invited,” I said, and then even louder, added, “Everyone here is invited to our Wedding, even Rico’s invited.” Rico heard his name and looked around the room before giving us a thumbs-up. He went back to talking to Pee Wee, and I looked back at the Cat. She was gone. How does she do that? I didn’t even feel her jump down. Darryl was talking to Randy and Zack about our benefits, and also, “I’d rather not meet the man. I definitely don’t need the publicity.” “The President agrees with you, but he does want to meet Amy,” Randy said, and then looked around. “By the way, where is she?” Probably getting sauced, I thought, but instead replied, “Probably in the Computer Room,” waited a couple seconds, and then added, “I agree with Dr. D. I definitely don’t need the publicity either.” “Well, la dee da to you,” Beth said with a pout. “How often do you get to meet the President of the United States? I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” “I might be able to get you in as her handler,” Randy said thoughtfully, and then went off to find the Cat. “Yay!” she yelled and grabbed me. We twirled around a couple times, and then she pushed me away. “I get to meet the President, and you don’t. Cha, cha, cha and ha, ha, ha to you, boy.” “I like it when you’re like that,” I told her, “It makes me happy too.” Her pout was back. “Come on. It’s no fun if you don’t even get just a little bit jealous.” I pulled a Richard Nixon. Shook my head, my jaw and everything else, “Ooooh, I am so jealous right now. I can’t even spit crooked!” “There ya go,” she laughed, and we did the twirly thing again. Everyone crowded around us and clapped when we finished. Randy had to push his way in, before telling Beth, “I think we can work something out. We could sneak her in, and not to get all sexist, but a woman with a Cat will look more natural. All we’ll need is a good cover story.” “Something to do with animals, and if Barry and Terry come along...” Beth started to say, and then her eyes got wide, “Oh shit! A banquet honoring Veterinarians and the President could speak...” “That’s actually a really good idea, but let’s talk about that later. We’ve got some unfinished business to take care of first.” Beth stopped dancing. “What do you mean?” “A friend of mine told me about this shooting range near here, and you and I are going out there right now.” Her face dropped, “Oh no.” “Don’t tell me you’re gonna back down?” “No, it’s not that. It’s just...” she said with a sad smile, and then just shook her head. “Let’s just get this over with, ok?” Randy asked to see her guns, and she handed them over. He was surprised at where they were hidden but got serious when he checked them out. I didn’t have a clue as to what in the hell he was doing, but it was obvious that he did. After a couple minutes, he gave one of them back to her, and then seemed to weigh the other one in his hand. “Nice balance and almost as deadly accurate as it’s bigger cousin, but easier to hide. It fits you somehow, Beth, although it’s not a woman’s first choice. “Last I remember,” he said thoughtfully, “the snub .38 was at the top of that list somewhere.” “That’s probably true,” Mouse said, and then added, “As a matter of fact, it’s what I carry in my cab.” Jack wanted to know what was going on, and even though I felt bad for Beth, I couldn’t stop smiling and explained what she was gonna do, finishing with, “and she’s got the fastest draw you’ll ever see, or not see.” “She’s going to do this blind- folded?” Zack asked with astonishment, and then added, “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe it. Even without a blindfold, that’s impossible. No one can shoot like that. Even the best sharpshooter in the world can’t do it, because if you’re off by just a hair of a millimeter, at fifty meters, that’ll throw your bullet way off.” I just smiled right along with Pee Wee, Mouse and Darryl. We’d already seen her do exactly what I said she’d do, but as the Cat came trotting back to join us, I had to add, “You mean impossible, like talking Cat impossible, or just your plain everyday impossible, like magic or predicting the future?” I looked at Randy before saying that last part, but he just shook his head, put his hands up and said, “Call me a skeptic if you want, but I’ve still got to see this, and if she’s as good as you say, it’ll be good to know.” “No sweat buddy, you’ll see it,” I told him. The Cat wanted to know, “What’s going on?” ` I told her, and she nodded her head, “I have no doubt that she can do it. Beth’s a very special person.” “I don’t know, Amy,” Jack said. “I’ve actually studied the problem, and even her heartbeat can throw the shot off, never mind the recoil. The odds are really stacked against her.” “Well, we could talk about this all day,” the Cat said, “or we could just get this show on the road and prove it.” And on that note, I secured the Mobile, and then we were gone, except for the Cat. She decided to stay behind and guard her dwindling supply of liquor. “How much do you have left?” I asked. “I’m down to my last two cases.” “Jesus, Cat, you make it sound like you’re almost out,” I said, and then opened my backpack, tapped it a couple times, and in baby talk, said, “Come on, kitty. Let’s go for a ride, kitty. Come on, kitty.” “Oh, can that shit,” the Cat said in disgust, and then headed back into the Computer Room. Once outside, Randy got behind the wheel, and Pee Wee took the shotgun side. The rest of us climbed into the back, and surprisingly enough, it was quite comfortable. If this had been a normal SUV, it would’ve been crowded, but instead of one, there were two back seats, and they faced each other. On the way, Jack kept explaining how impossible all this was, but I just smiled, and Beth kept staring blankly out the window. When we got there, Randy explained to the guy behind the counter what the circumstances were and even threw his buddies name in. “Yeah, I remember Spunky. How’s he doing?” “He’s married, with a kid on the way. Can you believe it?” Randy replied, and then got back on track by adding, “So, what do you think? Can we get this done or not?” “I don’t know,” the guy said. “She might kill someone if she’s wearing a blindfold, especially if you’re going to spin her around like a top.” Zack plunked ten, one hundred- dollar bills down on the counter, and asked, “Does this help any?” The guy looked at the money hungrily, but still shook his head. There was a display of dark sunglasses on the counter, and Randy grabbed one. “How about if she just wears these instead?” The guy thought about it for a minute, and then grabbed the money. “That’ll work.” The guy followed us inside, and then warned everyone about what was about to go down. They just laughed, and someone even hollered, “For Christ sake, Joe. She’s just a girl.” I could tell that got Beth mad, and through gritted teeth, she asked the counter guy, “How far away can you put that target?” “A hundred yards is the max,” he answered. “Do it,” she said, and everyone laughed even louder. He held up the undamaged target, and when it reached the very far end of the range, everyone got silent and waited. Beth put the glasses on, and I spun her around. She stopped herself, fired four rounds, spun herself halfway around again, flipped the guns, and fired four more rounds backwards. Her guns disappeared, and then she slowly took the glasses off. While waiting for the target to return, everyone talked excitedly about how fast she was, but that turned into stunned silence when Joe held it up. “All eight shots form a perfect circle around dead center,” he said, and then shook his head, before adding, “You can actually see each entry point, and I still can’t believe it. Do you mind if I keep this?” She nodded, I gave her a hug, everyone started cheering, and she did something that she never did when she was putting on one of these displays. She smiled, and I yelled, “My girl is better than all us guys put together,” and she hugged me again. “I still don’t like doing these things,” she said to me quietly, “but that guy really pissed me off.” “I don’t blame you,” Randy said and shook Beth’s hand, “and for the record, I’m glad I was wrong. Especially since it put that asshole in his place.” Some of the other guys came over to congratulate Beth, and one of them was a woman. “I’m Priscilla, and that was my husband with the big mouth,” she said and gave Beth a hug. “Never thought I’d see the day that someone could shut him up. First time in twenty years, but you did it, and I thank you,” she added and gave Beth another hug. After Priscilla went back to hubby, Mouse also gave her a hug and with a wicked grin, said, “Guys like that really make me sick... Oh, oh, big boy at your six o’clock.” Beth turned around, and this big ol’ boy was stomping his way over to her, and I swear to God, that’s what he did, stomp. He stopped, took the toothpick out of his mouth, and offered Beth his hand. “I’m the loudmouth that my Priscilla was talking about, and she made me come over to apologize. Well, I usually don’t apologize for shit like this, and I don’t care if you’re a girl or not, but anyone who can shoot like that, deserves my respect, and I apologize.” “Thank you,” Beth said, and then shook his hand, “I really appreciate it.” I could see Priscilla giving Beth a thumbs-up, and I think her hubby also saw it. He let go of Beth’s hand. “Yeah, well, I may be an asshole sometimes, but I do love my little Priscilla,” he said, put the toothpick back, and then stomped away. After hubby left, we all congratu- lated Beth again, but Jack still couldn’t believe it. “That’s impossible,” he kept saying and adding, “I saw it, but I still can’t believe it. “How do you do it?” he finally asked. “I don’t know really,” she answered, and then added, “except I just know where to aim. My brain must be able to calculate it all out, including the gravitational drop and recoil affect. I just don’t know how else I could be doing it either.” “Maybe you’re some kind of savant,” Zack said thoughtfully, and then added, “except instead of playing the piano, you play with guns.” “Could be,” she said and shrugged her shoulders. “I just don’t know what else to say. It’s a mystery to me too.” After that, Randy herded us all back out to the SUV, and off we went again. When we got back to the Mobile, the Cat asked how it went, and Jack told her. “I don’t know how she did it, and I still can’t believe it, but she did it.” I told her about the asshole, and she laughed. “Humans,” she finally said, and then added, “there’s a bad one in every bunch, and I’m really surprised you all haven’t blown yourselves to kingdom come by now.” “That’s because for every one of him, there’s at least two just like Miss Beth,” Darryl said, “and that’s what really keeps us all going, I think.” Everyone thought about that for a minute, while I had other things on my mind. “Why missing persons?” I asked Jack. “I mean, there are a million worthy causes that you could be throwing your money at, the Humane Society, ASPCA, Missing and Exploited Children, Doctors Without Borders, but instead, you chose missing persons, and you also chose us. Why?” “We also donate to them,” Jack said after a minute, and then added, “but this one’s personal.” “Personal? How so?” Pee Wee asked. “Our Mom disappeared when I was ten,” Zack said with a sad look, “and we don’t know what happened to her.” That surprised me, because I didn’t even know they were brothers, but I did know what it was like to lose your Mom, and so did Beth. “What happened?” she asked. “It was right after the Holidays,” Jack said. “We’re filthy rich, but our Mom still worked her job at the Mall. That’s where our Dad met her. One night she never came home. The police found her car in the parking lot. The window on the driver’s side was smashed, and her purse was still in the front seat, but they never found her.” “She was parked too far away for the security cameras to be of any help, and all their leads kept going nowhere,” Zack said, and then added, “Eventually the cops gave up on it, but our Dad never did. Up until the day he died, he poured an obscene amount of money into finding her, hiring more than a couple dozen Private Detective Agencies, but they never got anywhere either.” I had to replay that last part because I wasn’t listening. My fantasy world was giving me a front row seat to what happened to her, and it was beyond horrible. It included being sent through a woodchipper, feet first, while screaming babies were also being thrown in with her. Beth looked at me and instantly knew what was going on. She hugged me and asked, “Amy, can we borrow some of your Jack?” Amy didn’t even hesitate, “Help yourself.” Beth poured me the last shot, and I said, “Thank you.” Zack had a quizzical look on his face and asked, “What’s that all about?” Beth explained my problem. He shook his head. “That’s terrible,” he said, and then added, “I’m sorry for causing that.” “Don’t be. It’s not your fault, and besides, it’s what motivates me to save animals. I just can’t handle missing person details without it,” I explained. I looked around, and the Cat was gone. She’s probably catching up on her Jack Daniel’s deficiency and was about to go join her when Randy got a call. He listened for a few seconds, pulled out a notebook and started taking notes. After asking a couple questions, he said, “We’ll get right on it,” and clicked off on the caller. He looked at everyone. “We’ve got our first case, but we’re gonna have to literally fly there. It’s down in Louisiana. A family was out on a camping trip, when their seven-year-old daughter disappeared.” “How long’s she been missing?” I asked. “Six hours, but she needs a certain kind of medicine once a day, or it’s hard for her to breathe.” “We’ll fly you there,” Zack offered, and then added, “It’s one of your many perks.” First, before we could go any- where, we needed someone to drive the Mobile down to Louisiana. Pee Wee and Mouse offered to do just that. She knew the area around Seattle better than anybody, so she was the perfect choice, and besides, she still had to stop in and see Diesel Dog. Next, we stopped off to see Pat and Dave and tell them we were leaving. I introduced them to everyone, and Dave acted a little nervous around Randy, but still wanted to know, “What happened? Did you find your friends?” Being my PO, Randy didn’t know exactly why we’d driven to Seattle, because I didn’t think it’d be a good idea to tell him we were gonna be helping a couple more talking Cats escape, but now I didn’t care. I gave Dave a quick rehash, and he was impressed. “Wow! The FBI and missing persons, huh?” he said, and then added, “I’ve also been involved with that and serial killers for a few years now. As a matter of fact, part of my website is dedicated to that whole thing. If you need any help, please, don’t hesitate to ask.” Everyone else was around the Cat. Pat had kept his promise and was sober enough to really talk seriously with her. Jack looked at his watch, and then at Randy. “I think we should be going.” Randy nodded, and I told Dave, “I might take you up on that,” and after finally getting Pat and the Cat separated, we were off to go find a missing seven-year-old. =========================================== This EXCERPT was from: (the soon to be released Novel) AmyStrange & the Criminal (Part 4: the Wedding) by Dave Ayotte READ Part 1 for FREE here: http://www.atomadness.com/ =========================================== ===========================================